A Certain Man's Diary #3, The Last Soliloquy That Couldn't Be Written

......I let my guard down.

I was sure I'd killed him.

Maybe I really have gotten old.

Blood gushes from the deep wound slashed diagonally down from my shoulder.

I can no longer stand; I collapse onto the ground.

What happened to Emi......?

I manage to move only my eyes, and I see that Emi is safe.

She is launching 【Stone Throw】 at that cult Founder.

A thunderous roar echoes.

......Haha, Emi, that's not the kind of sound you're supposed to make with 【Stone Throw】.

That baldy is definitely dead now. Though I can't confirm it.

“............Master.”

Emi, who must have finished off the Founder, rushes straight over to me and struggles desperately to close the wound somehow.

I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not going to make it.

I can feel my life slipping away, moment by moment.

“Master...... Master, Master......”

Ah, Emi.

My beloved disciple.

My dear, dear...... “granddaughter.”

Don't cry for me like that.

This is just what I had coming.

If anything, karma took far too long to come back around.

From infants to the elderly.

I'm an assassin who'd kill anyone, if you piled up enough money.

Born as a cursed child.

With no family, no friends.

Before I knew it, I was doing that kind of work.

I never felt a shred of remorse, or any such noble emotion.

I got a grand epithet, the “Grim Reaper of Ashgo” or whatever, but in the end, I'm scum.

Just scum.

Vermin that just kept on living, greedy and shameless, by sucking up people's lives.

And for a man like me, Emi.

You'd cry for me?

“............”

I manage to move my body and grip Emi's hand.

“......Thank, you.”

Because you were here, I was saved.

Because you were here, for the first time, I was happy.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Emi.

My name, my epithet, my trade.

I never told you a single one of them.

I was scared that if I told you, you'd run off somewhere.

I'm a coward, aren't I.

I hid the truth and tried to grab some happiness for myself, didn't I.

Ah, it's hard, letting go of happiness.

I've lived by stealing that kind of happiness, so many people's happiness, haven't I.

A man like this should hurry up and die.

Ah.

Ah, but I'm sorry, Emi.

Your training is going to end halfway through.

I wanted to teach you so many more things.

I wanted to train you more.

But, well, Emi will surely be all right now.

You're a genius.

I taught you the basics.

From here on, even if I leave you alone, you'll probably just get stronger on your own.

Things are starting to go hazy.

Lastly, lastly, Emi, just one more thing.

“............Hang, in, there......”

Ah.

My final words, were those.

How lame.

What a poor finish.

Well, whatever.

Emi.

To the life of my beloved disciple.

To the life of my “granddaughter.”

May it be, full of happiness.

At the moment of death.

For the first time in my life, I prayed to a god.