The Perverted Old Geezer Goes Through the Forest

“Honestly, the Adventurers' Guild is a cruel lot! Sending an old grandpa like me into a demon realm, that's elder abuse if ever I saw it!”

A few days after being released from the Topuringon jail.

Complaining under his breath, Earthcell—formerly Topuringon's branch chief, now New Branch Establishment Official—was crossing the log bridge that led to Zamago Forest.

Dressed in the adventurer's gear he had once loved, dug out from the back of his wardrobe, he walked with his mustache swaying, and fallen though he was, the gravitas of the special-grade adventurer he had once been still seeped out of him.

“......Well now, from here on, it's the demon realm. It's dangerous ground, so, let's put some spirit into it and go!”

Having crossed the log bridge, Earthcell looked up at the great nishakasha trees growing thick all around and muttered this.

And then, slowly...... from his pocket...... he took out a pair of women's panties, and put them on his head......!

At that moment, the once-great special-grade adventurer, brimming with gravitas, sank to a mere perverted old geezer.

But still, this act was now an indispensable ritual for him.

Earthcell did not overestimate his own abilities.

His body had grown thoroughly feeble compared to his prime, and his snap judgment had probably dulled as well.

In the demon realm, he could die at any moment, and it would be no surprise.

He understood that.

That was precisely why Earthcell wore the panties.

So that he would have no regrets whenever he might die, he became one—body and soul (?)—with the thing he loved.

In other words, the panties were, for him, the mark of his resolve to die......!

By the way, the panties he is wearing now are brand new, bought in a shop, so please rest assured.

The collection he had amassed through crime had, with the original owners' consent, all been burned by Taiche before Earthcell's eyes.

Having no other choice, Earthcell decided to buy and wear brand new panties.

(These panties...... might someday, by some roundabout path, come to be worn by a beautiful girl. These panties are possibility. I am now wearing the future on my very body......!)

What is this person even saying. It's a little scary.

◇ ◇ ◇

“‘O earth, become countless hard stones, and pierce my foe! 【Soil Bullets】!’”

“““Migyaaaa!!?”””

“‘O rock, become a sharp spear and run my foe through! 【Rock Spear】!’”

“Chiwawawaaaaaa!!?”

“Blast it! There's still more!? ‘O mud, become bullets, and shoot my foe! 【Mud Shot】!’”

“Poporoppeporopero!!?”

Now, this was several hours later.

Earthcell was under attack by a pack of monsters for the umpteenth time that day.

“............Kahhaa~~~! That's rough! The density's far too high! These old bones can only take so much!”

After annihilating the surrounding monsters with his specialty, earth magic—the origin of his old epithet, “Earth Sage”—Earthcell sat down on the spot, breathing heavily.

“Too many monsters. So adventurers don't come in. So the monsters multiply even more...... ah~~~, honestly! What a vicious circle!”

And he scratched his head in irritation.

“......Fu~~~............”

Then, his hand touched the panties he was wearing.

His heart grew calm.

Vigor, courage, welled up in him......!

Earthcell immediately stood up and set about exploring the forest once more.

“Still, luckily, plenty of creatures that sell for a fair price live here, Forest Topopolocks, Zamago Toads and the like. Once a base is in order, things should change a great deal. It all comes down to how hard I work, you might say!”

His spirits up again, Earthcell pushed through the brush and strode on deeper into the forest.

What he was currently searching for was land suitable for building an Adventurers' Guild branch office.

As for conditions, first of all, somewhere the forest opened up a bit would be good.

In such a place, he could easily create buildings using his specialty, earth magic.

And, if it were near a water source, that would be even better.

For people to live there for any length of time, a supply of drinking water was a must.

Furthermore, it would be better if it were some distance away from the log bridge at the forest entrance.

Why? Because, as is often the way with demon realms, it was actually unclear which country held the land of Zamago Forest.

In other words, even if he built a branch office inside this forest, no legal filings would be necessary, and no taxes would be charged.

That was precisely why the Adventurers' Guild had ordered Earthcell to establish a branch office in this forest (though it was also a fact that this was a punitive reassignment).

For those reasons, and because materials were easy to gather, there were in fact many Adventurers' Guild branch offices built within demon realms, and some had even grown into towns that governed themselves.

However, if such a branch office were built in plain sight, the neighboring Pokkeroce would naturally not be pleased.

They were bound to raise some objection or other.

That was why he wanted to keep it from coming to light until the surrounding area was under effective control.

He wanted to get things set up quietly.

Hence, he wanted to establish the base some distance into the forest.

“That said, I can't afford to be so picky, can I~”

Earthcell muttered to himself as he pushed through the brush.

So far, as he walked around the forest, the number of spots that met his standards was zero.

He couldn't find a good spot.

Time passed without him achieving his goal, and as the sun set, the forest gradually grew dark.

“““Migyaaaa!!!”””

“Not again!!”

And here came another Forest Topopolock attack.

These three-eyed monsters were weak, easy to hunt, and their meat was delicious, but they had the troublesome nature of making a racket and attracting other monsters.

In other words, attacks by monsters would continue for a while after this.

Sighing, Earthcell used earth magic to create bullets and float them in the air, then began firing them at the Forest Topopolocks.

◇ ◇ ◇

“Aah~~~! Honestly, what an ordeal that was!”

It was already midnight.

Having finally weathered the monster attacks, a battered Earthcell held up a portable magic lamp and was still wandering through the forest in search of a campsite.

“Still, I'm not bad at all, am I! There's plenty of life in me yet!”

Earthcell said it with a grin, fiddling with his mustache.

Indeed, though it was still only the outskirts, few adventurers could go on exploring a demon realm alone for so long.

As expected of a former special-grade adventurer.

He was no mere perverted old geezer.

“......And it's all thanks to this. Because I have this, I can keep going......”

With that, Earthcell gently stroked the panties equipped on his head.

Yep, he's a pervert, this one.

He's no mere perverted old geezer, but a perverted old geezer he most certainly is.

“......Hm? Mumu!?”

And just then.

The brush that had been hindering Earthcell's progress suddenly vanished.

When he looked up, a sky full of stars, hidden until then by the branches and leaves of the great trees, was shining gently down on him.

In other words.

“Ooh! Open ground!”

In other words, he had finally found what Earthcell had been searching for all along: a candidate site that might be just right for a branch office.

“What about water? ......Too dark to tell~”

He tried lighting up the area with the magic lamp, but he couldn't make out anything beyond the fact that this was open ground.

If he had been a little calmer then, he would surely have noticed the strange intimidation hanging over this land...... the eerie stillness sometimes found in the territory of a powerful monster.

But still, he didn't notice.

Because between the fatigue of exploring and the joy of finding a site, his concentration was gone.

“Well, the details tomorrow, once the sun's up! ......Foooh~~~! I'm properly worn out today!”

With that, he stretched as hard as he could, then began muttering an incantation.

“‘O earth, become a wall and protect me! 【Wall】!’”

And what he activated was a defensive spell that raises a protective wall.

This spell normally only raises an earth wall in front of the caster, but this is the “Earth Sage”; he is a cut above.

By pouring a strong image into the spell as he casts it, he can shape the wall he makes quite freely!

A few seconds later, his body was encased in something like a large eggshell made of earth.

This shell was quite sturdy, and most monsters could not break it.

Since there were air holes, breathing was not a problem.

It got a bit muggy in summer, but nothing he couldn't put up with.

“Foooh~~~...... sleepy, so sleepy!”

Earthcell is a grandpa.

Basically, he gets sleepy once the sun sets, and wakes before it rises.

Right now, he's pushing himself quite hard.

He quickly wolfed down some trail rations, took off his shirt, then leaned back against the egg-shaped wall he had made and closed his eyes.

And in under a few minutes, he was fast asleep, breathing softly.

......That is how Earthcell came to arrive at Emi's base.

Chanting an incantation ‘activates magic of a more or less fixed standard’: that is the “magic assistance system” the God of Magic created, and the ‘more or less’ part is the key.

Incantation magic leaves the caster room to arrange the spell through imagination, and with earth magic, Earthcell is very good at arranging it.

That is why he made a great name as an adventurer, and even earned the epithet “Earth Sage”.